So angry... words cannot describe... the ridiculous... idiotic...terrible!!!... how could they.... massacre... Harry Potter and the order of the Phoenix... What?... to deserve such a?... bastards...
So no, I didn't like HP OotP: the movie. Why? How long have you got?
To start: it is obviously difficult to condense such a huge book in to two and a half hours of film, but that does not explain why the longest HP book is a shorter movie than HP IV! What is even more annoying is the fact they got rid of so much of the original story while ADDING new bits that are not in the books, or hideously distorting the original genius.
The little that was good:
Dudley
Extendable ears
Thestrals
Dolores Umbridge and her office
Luna Lovegood
Bellatrix Lestrange
And to be fair, Dan Radcliffe as Harry has improved.
Now for what was crap, in no particular order:
HP and the Order of the Phoenix? We see about 2 minutes of the Order.
Grawp? A huge friendly giant who falls in love with Hermione.
Quidditch? Weasley is our king? Nope, delete all quidditch.
Weasley twins' fireworks and exit? Well, they are fireworks, that's it, nothing special, no swamp
The DA? Somehow assembled, no Marietta, CHO is the sneak, only she was forced too, Veritaserum you see... no real betrayal, no pimples, no fun.
Grimmauld Place? Kreacher but no portrait of Sirius's mum, no real sense of the place.
Snake attack on Arthur Weasley? incomprehensible. Mr Weasley is taken ill then is better in less than 40 seconds.
Umbridge is ghastly, fine, but all the DA get the "lines" punishment. No build up of Harry's rage.
The death eaters? they apparate in a cloud of black smoke and have Darth Vader masks, pathetic.
The DA? We have no idea who they are, just a bunch of faces.
OWLs? Briefly referred to, but no stress, revision, or any classes.
The Room of requirement? Not a DADA room at all.
The Ministry/ Dumbledore feud? Condensed to a couple of Daily Prophet headlines: no Percy.
The cutting of elements that may seem superfluous to the "plot" (Quidditch, Hogsmeade, the ambience of Grimmauld Place, the Firenze/Trelawney feud, OWLs, Sirius's James/Harry fixation, Harry's progressively more explicit dreams, St Mungo's, the Occlumency and pensieve saga, Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes etc etc): the incredible HP series has turned into your basic teen action movie, removing background, psychology of the characters and therefore all coherence in one swift edit.
But worst of all, the fighting scene in the department of Mysteries, the best scene in the whole series in my opinion, which could have given some amazing, real time action disappears. The DA run for it, all are fine, none are even wounded! They go straight in to the Prophecy room, hear the prophecy (!!!!) then escape. Dumbledore arrives and saves the day. The fountain doesn't wake up. Wow, what a climax.
Harry goes through hell in that book, and is a stroppy little shit. In the movie, apart from the odd line that makes it clear that he is suffering from teenage angst ("I'm just so angry", poor kid) there is none of the envelopping darkness that leaks out of the book. He doesn't even argue with Ron and Hermione! just answers a bit rudely from time to time.
And all the bits that are just ILLOGICAL: what the hell is Luna doing walking around the forbidden forest? why does the Order, at the beginning when they rescue Harry, fly at ground level? Statute of secrecy?? Why on earth does Umbridge use Veritaserum on everyone but Harry, who would be first on my list (didn't think that out before you changed the book did you, you wankers?) Why does everyone know about the goddamn Room of Requirement (and can see the door to it!!!), doesn't that defeat the whole point????
The people who created this movie have totally and utterly failed to recognise that the whole point of HP is not the bloody story line which is pretty bloody basic (hero leaves home, hero identifies enemy, hero fights, falls in love, fights more etc), but the fact that it is an extremely well developped and coherent universe that, thanks to its level of detail, is an amzingly rich parallel world that one can immerse oneself in.
There is soppiness without any darkness, and long long close ups of people's faces. Time could have been much better used (I am very bitter about the lack of fighting at the ministry.)
The first twenty minutes were ok... Dursleys do the trick, hearing at the Ministry is good, first few minutes at Hogwarts are ok. Then the director must have realised they still had 700 pages left to do in under two hours, and it just barrels ahead, incomprehensibly. Any person who has not read the books would not understand a thing I should imagine.
The other films were bad, but at least give enormous pleasure because they illustrate all the great and quirky details of the book (Quidditch, Marauder's map, different classes etc). In this movie, those details are gone and all is left is a rather complicated plot that has to be struck down in to a series of scenes, many of them too short, others made up (cf Luna in forest, Grawp and Hermione lurve, Filch waiting outside Room of requirement, Luna's shoe dilemma), some too long and soppy (giggles between the three, the blurb at the end :"We've got something worth fighting for", retch)
I am so disappointed, and because all the details that make the movies enjoyable have gone, I will not sit through it again. God! I was actually bored! That's what happens when you already know the end and there is nothing else to keep you hooked.
The makers of the Harry Potter films must absloutely determine who they are making them for. Those who have read the books? then don't fucking edit the best bits. Those who haven't? then cut away but make the plot shorter and more comprehensible, better paced and clearer.
Ideally two sets of movies should be made: a short series for kids & teens & those who can't be bothered to read, a bit like what we had with movies I, II & II. In parallel, blow the budget and make a fifty hour long saga, with every detail, every line (and not one more!!!), every character, every scene. If it seems like a huge investment, I would bet anything that the producers would make their money back within a month.
Roll on Book VII, at least J.K. Rowling knows what she is doing.
So no, I didn't like HP OotP: the movie. Why? How long have you got?
To start: it is obviously difficult to condense such a huge book in to two and a half hours of film, but that does not explain why the longest HP book is a shorter movie than HP IV! What is even more annoying is the fact they got rid of so much of the original story while ADDING new bits that are not in the books, or hideously distorting the original genius.
The little that was good:
Dudley
Extendable ears
Thestrals
Dolores Umbridge and her office
Luna Lovegood
Bellatrix Lestrange
And to be fair, Dan Radcliffe as Harry has improved.
Now for what was crap, in no particular order:
HP and the Order of the Phoenix? We see about 2 minutes of the Order.
Grawp? A huge friendly giant who falls in love with Hermione.
Quidditch? Weasley is our king? Nope, delete all quidditch.
Weasley twins' fireworks and exit? Well, they are fireworks, that's it, nothing special, no swamp
The DA? Somehow assembled, no Marietta, CHO is the sneak, only she was forced too, Veritaserum you see... no real betrayal, no pimples, no fun.
Grimmauld Place? Kreacher but no portrait of Sirius's mum, no real sense of the place.
Snake attack on Arthur Weasley? incomprehensible. Mr Weasley is taken ill then is better in less than 40 seconds.
Umbridge is ghastly, fine, but all the DA get the "lines" punishment. No build up of Harry's rage.
The death eaters? they apparate in a cloud of black smoke and have Darth Vader masks, pathetic.
The DA? We have no idea who they are, just a bunch of faces.
OWLs? Briefly referred to, but no stress, revision, or any classes.
The Room of requirement? Not a DADA room at all.
The Ministry/ Dumbledore feud? Condensed to a couple of Daily Prophet headlines: no Percy.
The cutting of elements that may seem superfluous to the "plot" (Quidditch, Hogsmeade, the ambience of Grimmauld Place, the Firenze/Trelawney feud, OWLs, Sirius's James/Harry fixation, Harry's progressively more explicit dreams, St Mungo's, the Occlumency and pensieve saga, Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes etc etc): the incredible HP series has turned into your basic teen action movie, removing background, psychology of the characters and therefore all coherence in one swift edit.
But worst of all, the fighting scene in the department of Mysteries, the best scene in the whole series in my opinion, which could have given some amazing, real time action disappears. The DA run for it, all are fine, none are even wounded! They go straight in to the Prophecy room, hear the prophecy (!!!!) then escape. Dumbledore arrives and saves the day. The fountain doesn't wake up. Wow, what a climax.
Harry goes through hell in that book, and is a stroppy little shit. In the movie, apart from the odd line that makes it clear that he is suffering from teenage angst ("I'm just so angry", poor kid) there is none of the envelopping darkness that leaks out of the book. He doesn't even argue with Ron and Hermione! just answers a bit rudely from time to time.
And all the bits that are just ILLOGICAL: what the hell is Luna doing walking around the forbidden forest? why does the Order, at the beginning when they rescue Harry, fly at ground level? Statute of secrecy?? Why on earth does Umbridge use Veritaserum on everyone but Harry, who would be first on my list (didn't think that out before you changed the book did you, you wankers?) Why does everyone know about the goddamn Room of Requirement (and can see the door to it!!!), doesn't that defeat the whole point????
The people who created this movie have totally and utterly failed to recognise that the whole point of HP is not the bloody story line which is pretty bloody basic (hero leaves home, hero identifies enemy, hero fights, falls in love, fights more etc), but the fact that it is an extremely well developped and coherent universe that, thanks to its level of detail, is an amzingly rich parallel world that one can immerse oneself in.
There is soppiness without any darkness, and long long close ups of people's faces. Time could have been much better used (I am very bitter about the lack of fighting at the ministry.)
The first twenty minutes were ok... Dursleys do the trick, hearing at the Ministry is good, first few minutes at Hogwarts are ok. Then the director must have realised they still had 700 pages left to do in under two hours, and it just barrels ahead, incomprehensibly. Any person who has not read the books would not understand a thing I should imagine.
The other films were bad, but at least give enormous pleasure because they illustrate all the great and quirky details of the book (Quidditch, Marauder's map, different classes etc). In this movie, those details are gone and all is left is a rather complicated plot that has to be struck down in to a series of scenes, many of them too short, others made up (cf Luna in forest, Grawp and Hermione lurve, Filch waiting outside Room of requirement, Luna's shoe dilemma), some too long and soppy (giggles between the three, the blurb at the end :"We've got something worth fighting for", retch)
I am so disappointed, and because all the details that make the movies enjoyable have gone, I will not sit through it again. God! I was actually bored! That's what happens when you already know the end and there is nothing else to keep you hooked.
The makers of the Harry Potter films must absloutely determine who they are making them for. Those who have read the books? then don't fucking edit the best bits. Those who haven't? then cut away but make the plot shorter and more comprehensible, better paced and clearer.
Ideally two sets of movies should be made: a short series for kids & teens & those who can't be bothered to read, a bit like what we had with movies I, II & II. In parallel, blow the budget and make a fifty hour long saga, with every detail, every line (and not one more!!!), every character, every scene. If it seems like a huge investment, I would bet anything that the producers would make their money back within a month.
Roll on Book VII, at least J.K. Rowling knows what she is doing.
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